I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I change into obsessive about studying every part I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s model system, colour evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Comfortable Basic in Kibbe’s model system.
These methods and labels could be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already learn about ourselves. They assist us identify complicated ideas and supply parameters that scale back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these methods and persona assessments begins as excited curiosity after which rapidly slips into an all-consuming have to get every part ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to change into an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these methods truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘finest’ or ‘proper’ determination?
Right this moment I’m sharing what I’ve realized from these methods, how we discover which means by means of them, and why I actually assume we wish to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about completely different methods and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, it’s possible you’ll fall into a few of your personal rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Sorts
Launched within the Nineteen Eighties, David Kibbe’s style system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the everyday fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and many others.) however slightly how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or brief you appear.
The thought is to decorate in a manner that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve all the time struggled to make clothes developments work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique sort may provide you with some clues.
You possibly can strive to determine which sort you’re utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they haven’t any alternative however to find out their very own sort, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable while you’re getting began, however it could rapidly change into irritating while you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to observe the rules.
Shade Evaluation
Color analysis (aka discovering your “finest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full drive. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, shiny or muted, gentle or deep?
They are saying figuring out your colours will allow you to look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t need to put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the give you the results you want (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies bettering their appears is a subject for one more time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 completely different digital colour analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I learn about colour evaluation. The perfectionist in me needs an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by means of the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo at the moment than it was previously.
Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you’re and allow you to interpret your present section of life. Chances are you’ll know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was while you had been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at the moment is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology could be useful if you know the way to make use of it, utilizing it within the flawed manner can create destructive stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which may also help you perceive how one can dwell your each day life with ease.
Relying in your sort, you’ll be able to decide whether or not one of the best use of your power is to be an initiator of recent concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues finished (Turbines), to observe your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you study (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our fashionable world tells everybody they have to be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals are usually not designed to make use of their power that manner (maybe that is one motive why burnout and continual fatigue are so prevalent at the moment).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these methods have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both manner, we people wish to put individuals into packing containers even after we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY searching for to know about myself by means of these methods?
For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique sort within the Kibbe system and my colour season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t go well with me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Sort Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who needs a algorithm to observe as a result of I feel that may make my life simpler.
However is searching for an outdoor system as an inner guidebook the way in which to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Systems vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might by some means dwell life for us, on our behalf, so that after we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t need to face the messiness and discomfort of truly displaying up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I need these methods to offer me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I observe the foundations and tips completely, I gained’t need to take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that manner.
Changing into too reliant on an outdoor algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.
The hunt for self-understanding shouldn’t change into a pursuit of perfection.
Are these methods pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these packing containers and methods to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?
I don’t assume so. In any case, they may also help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to desire a sense of which means in life since nobody needs to waste their time and power. However trying to find the right system and making an attempt to observe it to a T may finish in wasted time and power anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us after we’re not pushing, not searching for answers, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All it’s important to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both manner.
Ultimately, making an attempt to depend on any system aside from your personal inner knowing will lead you additional away from what you need and wish.
Let your self include multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to vary your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing flawed with utilizing these sorts of methods and labels; you simply need to method them from a spot of curiosity slightly than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it could be time to let go.
When you actually wish to really feel assured in your self, settle for that you may be a number of issues without delay. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your personal tips for all times as a substitute.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
